__________Living In A World Of Confusions----------

Saturday, January 29, 2005

\Temperamental//

Sorry for being so volatile lately but I just feel very very stressed lately I'm up to the neck trying to cope with the rising expectations from the people around me.I about to burn out I'm losing my composure.Sometimes I just want to shout out all my frustrations and go off to somewhere quiet till I feel better.

X-country is coming up and I'm still stuck with this stupid cough.I'm angry with myself for not taking care of myself.I know people expect quite a bit from me when I don't run well.I'll be honest and admit that I've not trained well in the build-up to this event,but the fact that I've been dogged by injury didn't help either.Sometimes when I feel pain I'll just close my eyes to try to shut it out or picture my inspiration,but I'm really exhausted and injury-laden.My muscle are tearing,pain shoots up my leg with every step I take.

I don't know what's going on either in band,Mr Lee just expects so much from everyone and sometimes the limelight falls on me.I swear that the seat at the end of the first row is a poison chalice.He just expects so much from me,even though I'm trying my best.Sometimes I just wanna give up becos I just can't live up to all this high expectations.

Everyone just anticipate me to pull a rabbit out of the hat to salvage a lost cause or be the source of inspiration.Well...Sorry,but the magician's talent is spent and his heart is weary.

No matter how disheartened I am I'll fight through the pain barrier cos I've made to great a sacrifice to be where I am now.I will never surrender to obstacles.I believe I am strong and I will prove it.To all these obstacles I'll say just bring it,for no fears could reside any longer in my heart.

I'm Confused|9:28 PM|

+ + + + +